How do I deal with an ex-husband that doesn't want to see his children?

My ex-husband has a court order that he has to take the kids every other weekend and I offer him the choice of letting the kids spend the night with him, but he's always to busy with his g/f or something else. My children ( well the oldest who is 4) always wants to spend the night with him. How do I deal with him not taking the children and not wanting to spend time with the kids, and how would I explain this to my 4 year old that his father has more important things to do then spend time with him?How do I deal with an ex-husband that doesn't want to see his children?
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You can't force him to do anything. That has to be his choice, In the end when your kids don't want to have anything to do with him, than you say ';you had all the time in the world to see your kids';. Now they don't want to see you. You just tell your kids that daddy is busy and can't make it now. Don't ever talk bad about your husband to your kids, they will find out on their own what a lazy a** he is.And do not ever not let him see the kids, Because than he can take you back to court to have the child support reduced.
This will be his lose in the end. There will come a time when he is going to want to spend time with them and they will be the one not responding.





Does he have any communication with the kids? He should be the one to telling them why he's not coming. But I don't think he's going to do that. Don't talk badly about him to the kids. (just say what he says, which is Daddy's just busy right now)





Find something special for you and the kids to do on those weekends, go to the park, make it a movie night or have a pizza day or go over to grandmas. Anything to take their minds off of him not picking them up.
That's not how it works. The order is to grant him visitation. You can't force him to take them. It's a good idea to have him make explanations in front of the kids (it might force him to step up temporarily), but it's not good to drag their little hearts into it. You say nothing but good things to them, daddy loves you, daddy will see you when he can. There are no good explanations for I picked a loser to be your dad and now he has no time for you.
You cannot take him back to court to have the order enforced on visitation. Visitation is only enforceable when it is being denied.





I'm dealing with this as we speak, and I had to realize that sometimes, we have to take our hands off the situation. If you're the only parent that is going to be consistent, then you simply have to play the hand you were dealt.





It breaks my heart, even as an adult to see how much my dad still chooses to spend time with others than he does me. All it does is make more sacred the relationship I have with my children.





Never talk down about their father to them. Keep making the excuses until they're of age to see for themselves who he is.
As a single mother of 3, ages 8, 6 and 4, please do not try to force him to see his children. That could end in a disaster and a situation that you will regret.





The court order ALLOWS him to see the children but it's not manditory. Trust me he will pay later on in his life because our children are all we have.





Listen, only address the issue with your 4 year old when he/she asks. Just say Daddy can't come right now would you like to color, etc. Keep the child occupied and trust me eventually he/she will stop asking.





It's not your fault so don't blame yourself.
It's not up to you to tell him that he does'nt want them there,have the husband tell her himself.The fact he thinks she may be to young to remember is so wrong,they remember everything.He is only going to be hurt in the long run,but if you say something bad about daddy she will hold it against you.That is his job so tell him to get the B**ls and tell her himself.
The order does not say he MUST take them.. The orders sets out what he is entitled to should he choose to take them.





Just explain to your child that you understand that he/she is disappointed that Daddy isn't picking them up today. Tell them that you wish it was different for them but that you don't control what Dad does. And leave it at that.
this is difficult...making kids understand all this adult stuff...making them understand why you two are not together...making them understand daddy have another interest,i ndont know if you have another man already yourself...all of this decisions and future ones that you will make...hav e to be thought of carefully .....children suffer and making them understand at this young age is another torture to their young minds...i hope everybody that is planning to end their marriage...or plannning to change partners...those parents that put themselves first before their children...give it a little thought about the trauma you are causing you kids...
This happened to my husband when he was little. Except his dad would promise to come over and then cancel. And to be honest, I think he was better off not being around his dad. You do not want to badmouth their father. Just keep distracting your kids if they ask for him.
as a single mom of two and an a$$ of an ex. i know how you feel but you can't force him to do anything. don't bad mouth your ex but tell your child that his father is busy at the moment. do stuff with him and keep him happy.





good luck
Tell him it's a court order and if he's not going to follow the order you'l take his *** back to court and get more money from him.
I agree with kitkat let him do it the lousy worm!
You don't explain it to your kids. Let your ex do it. Call him to come over, and sit him down in front of your kids. Then ask him point blank to explain to his children why they can't spend the night with him. Then watch him squirm.


You shouldn't have to make excuses for him being a sorry piece of crap. Since there is a court order in place, he has to take the kids, so I'd call your attorney about it and see if the order can be enforced.
If the father does not want to follow the order of the court than maybe you should have the order modified. You child that is 4 should more than likely hear from the father why he is not able to spend the weekend with him. Do not put yourself in there to sound like the bad guy. It is the father who has a busy schedule that he can not take two weekends out of the month to spend time with the kids. Let him sit down and talk to the children. If it comes from you, it will make you seem like the bad parent and you are just upset with their father. Children do not see things the way you may present it and may get the wrong impression of you and their father. The children are still pretty young so they may not be able to get all that is going on around them but as they get older they will form their own opinion about their father. So you should not try to form that opinion for them.
What a horrible situation. Unrortunately i don't think you can make him stay with his kids. If he's too busy with his g/f he is a loser. one day he will realise he missed their childhood and by then they will hate him. try telling him his kids need him coz there is nothing worst to kids then to feel that they are unwanted. sometimes a lot of men feel scared staying with young kids if that's the case you can reassure him that your just a phone call away if anything happens. whatever the outcome i wish you all the best and hopefully he will realise that it is really important for kids to be close to both of their parents.


ps. my husband's dad didn't visit him after his parents divorced and now my husband hates him and haven't seen him for 25 years as his dad was too busy playing happy families with a younger model, tell this story to your ex maybe that will help


good luck
honey.as your soon to be husband i want to say we should explain to him how i want to be his father ,and explain the difference between a father and a dad. he doesn't want his kids and i want you and everything that comes with it! i love you and OUR kids,i want to sit him down and explain to him what a piece of **** he is for being the way he is! and if he doesn't want them i will adopt them! i love them like my own and wouldn't mind if they were.at least that piece of **** gets to see his kids i'm stuck in ohio law about how the kids go with the mother and think the same stuff happened to him and if you would not have used them a leverage to hurt him he might not be acting this way(doubt it though). i'm not sure how to resolve this but i will stick with you to get him through this.