Friday, August 20, 2010

How do I deal with my ex husband having a baby with someone else?

My ex husband and I were married for 7 years with 2 children and divorced just a year ago. Already he has another girlfriend who is 2 months pregnant with his child. I dont know how he can move on so quickly but I am so hurt. I am civil with his girlfriend but they both know I dont really like her. How am I going to deal with and accept their new baby when it gets here? I am afraid I will resent the child but I know it will have to be around my children who are 4 and 6. How to deal?How do I deal with my ex husband having a baby with someone else?
totally understandable...however you two are divorced and he did move on quickly so it has hurt you as well that he did this...he does not seem to care, he moved on. So you need to as well. Not saying it will be easy to see him come with a baby to pick up your children for a visit...You do not have to become his or hers best friend and accept it, but it would be easier for you to just acknowledge it for your kids sake...If you hold onto hard feelings your children will pick it up and it can be more trouble for you down the road then needed...hopefully he will always be in the picture for ';all'; his kids and if so he will always be dealing with you...You are just hurt and it is a real emotional trauma to see this happen, no doubt...You can not hold onto anger or resentment as you have said, it will only hurt you down the line...Best of luck to you..It will get easier on you...How do I deal with my ex husband having a baby with someone else?
I have a pretty close relationship with my x. we share a child together and when his girlfriend had their baby i made it a point to go see her. Now four years later they broke up and the baby likes me more than her own mom. when we go to pick up our kids she wants to go home with me instead of her mom. It makes her mad but i love it!!!!! And dont forget that this baby will be your kids sibling. you dont want any hard feelings between them or you...
you are jealous.





you still have feeling for your ex.





unfortunately, there is nothing you can do.





under the circumstances, he thinks he has you where he wants you.





in this circumstance, you can find yourself a younger man just for show and maybe more.





if your ex is the jealous and violent type, keep your business to yourself.
You dont have to accept the baby, it has nothing to do with yopu. You dont even have to like his girlfriend.





Of course the will be around thier new little brother or sister. Butt out and get a life of your own.
Your job is to be YOUR children's advocate in all things. They will have contact with this sibling when they are with your ex, so do nothing to make them feel umnomfortable about this new baby. They may want to talk about it some, so keep an open mind and spend more time LISTENING than expressing an opinion.





Your resentment issues are towards your Ex, not the innocent baby. Keep a clear head and remember, your marraige to him is over and you have no control over him or the situation. The only one you can control is you and your emotions.
Your test is about LOVE. Nothing else.


Learning how to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.....as you do with your children.


This new baby will give you an opportunity to show how truly amazing you are.


IF you are able to display love to this new baby, and it shouldn't be hard knowing you like babies, you will rise above the obvious hurt and pain that was caused by your ex.


Your strength must come from the center of your being and at the center of your being is.....??????


Breath in......breath out.....calm down......


Peace


and it helps to sing and dance when nobodies around.


and remember one very important UNIVERSAL TRUTH.





YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED BEFORE THIS EXACT MOMENT.....and living in the land of IF.....is a sad land.





GO FORWARD and be the greatest person you can be........and the way you do that is by practicing the art of LOVE.





UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.





good luck....it can be a lot of work.





By the way.....a massage from time to time will help you.
The key word is ex. You have to accept the fact that he has moved on. Maybe you should do the same thing.
Tell him ';congratulations'; and simply continue to live your life as you have been.


He has started a life with this woman....there is no reason to be bitter toward the unborn baby. He or she doesn't have a choice in this situation. Just deal with it on your own, this child needs love just like your kids do.


Resentment, if it isn't dealt with, tends to grow over time.
YOU DON';T . There is nothing for you to deal with except your own jealousy. It's an ugly look on anyone. Learn to detach.





GET OVER IT ALREADY!!!





You are not together and you need a life of your own. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Find a way to keep your distance if it's hurting you. You need to move on.





Don't take any of this out on your children or his, it sounds like you need something to occupy your time. Find out what makes you happy and go for it. YOU WILL NOT WIN HIM BACK. IT';S OVER





Find a new way of life that will help you deal!

















Or go on the Jerry show and look like a piece of trash...


your choice
';EX'; is the operative word here . . . . . Divorced means that he is entitled to get on with his life however he chooses to. And, if you've been divorced for a year already its long since time for you to let go of the past and get on with your own life as well. If you're still angry with your ex you shouldn't pass that on to his baby, which will be your children's brother or sister. I'm sorry to say this, but resenting a baby seems rather childish to me ! For your own sake and for the sake of your children stop thinking about the past and/or your ex and start concentrating on what you can do to make your own future a happy one !





God Bless You !
Well, it would be cruel of you to take it out on the child. How could you be resentful towards a baby who hasn't even entered this world yet.


You're ex has moved on and started a new life for himself...like it or not. Take a look around you. There are many things that happen to people in this world that aren't fair.


You need to stop living in the past because life is short. Your ex has gotten on with his life now you need to do the same.
well its hard, always, to get over somthing like that!!! i srry..............well you just have to think its ok.........it isnt the end of the world!!!!!!! so just think maybe he wasnt the right person for you!!! you have to move on!
around your children but not around you. who cares he moved on now so should you. you would have no reason to resent a child that you dont have to care for. grow up
No matter how hard it gets, no matter how hurt you feel, always remember that the baby was born innocent and did not ask to be brought into the situation. You also must always remember that regardless of how you feel, that baby is a sibling to your children, same as they are to one another : ) Do you like to read? Read the novel Blue Shoe by Anne Lamott.
First off he's that of your EX! In this case please bring your maturity level up and get over it! He's moved on regardless to how you look at it! He has a girlfriend now!!!!!!!!! I suggest you move on with your life and stay out of his affairs! You don't have to indulge in the babies life because it's not your worry, that's your children sister or brother! Just raise your kids to be close with there sister or brother because they all can be there for one another..... That baby is innocent and your best bet is to embrace it! It's over and regardless to what you think of him and moving on with his life he's done just that moved on! The girlfriend isn't for you to like anyway she's for your Ex to love, like and accept! Sounds like a mild case of envy and jealousy! Get this now that they are playing house that leaves more time for you to allow the children to fill her out because weather you want to realize it or not she's going to be apart of there lives with the baby!!!!!!!! I know this maybe something that you don't want to here but it is what it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get your life and priorities in order and think like this, you have bigger fish to fry!!!!!!!!! God bless and good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your husband probably ';moved on'; emotional long before he even left the marriage so, to him, he didn't move on as fast as you are perceiving it. I know it hurts but for the sake of your two kids you need to work on putting things in prospective.





Children can easily pick up on tension and dislike and it's in their best interest for you to accept your ex-husband's new girlfriend and baby and get along in more than just civil terms. They (your kids and your husband's new baby) are going to be connected for all of their lives; you want your kids to be treated fairly and lovingly while they are around your ex-husband's house and that can't happen without you to the bigger, more forgiving person in this equation.





Your kids have a new brother or sister on the way. If you don't want them to take a back seat to the new arrival, then accept and try to welcome the baby for what it is: family. Resentment will only hurt you in the long run.
This is a very cold answer but i believe that you have to accept all the positive that you received from any type of relationships. That is why i have not married. I accept them for what they are. The good and the bad. That must really hurt! Especially involving children. I went threw a similar relationship. where my man married a woman 2 months after we stopped seeing each other. That Hurt. The marriage lasted 1 year! I know he didn't love her,but that was his way of dealing with it! We have been in touch as friends for more then 10 years.I hope you can get the support from others to deal with it in a positive way! Good Luck!
The same way he would if you where pregnant.





How can he move on so quickly ? , because if you have the kids M-F or even M-SA...What life does that give you to go out and meet other people. NONE......He has 5 to 6 days a week to get out and start over. You may only have 1 to 4 days a month....Doesn't seem fair but that's how he moved on.





When my ex and I first split it was the same, but different I worked two jobs to pay the support and didn't have time for the hook ups. But I was over her........





You seem to be still caught up in the relationship you where in. You need to give him the children a little more and get out there and fine some time to mingle.......Don't feel guilty about the kids being with him, sometimes a woman need her own time and needs full filled................good luck........





PS.......treat the new girl friend and child with a little more respect, fighting with her is not gonna make things easier.....it will just make you look like your jealous and if anything he is her problem now......
why would you even ask this question its none of your biz to even care what he does anymore .your divorced,i think your just jealous.that's hes gone on and not feeling miserable.like he lost everything.
Tell him that when he is visiting, he is not allowed to bring his girlfriend in your house. That is the best way to deal with it for now. You can tell him that you can't deal with it and it is not wise to make a scene in front of you children.

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