Friday, August 20, 2010

What are some of the emotions you felt and how did/do you deal with your ex introducing your children to a new?

partner?What are some of the emotions you felt and how did/do you deal with your ex introducing your children to a new?
I don't know about new emotions, but a great mixture of lots of emotions that are/were very intense and painful......almost a replay of the height of the emotions leading to divorce......lots of which are totally illogical fears and worries, a burning need to protect your child/ren because of what their father put you through, which is not how you once saw him when married especially if like I was married for a very long time and had a blissfully happy marriage and had no idea it was coming ( leaving for work as normal and getting a solicitors letter 20 mins later drop on the mat.....and he never came home again...so total shock)





However realising the hate is targeted towards me, so 'catch yourself on' to stop and make it right for the child/ren.........only then finding once they left home and were considered adults he bought them cars, paid for college fees ( even though he never had money or paid child support leaving me to struggle and hide it from them) to find he started lying to them, telling them I had, had many affairs ( never) that I wanted them fostered out at one time, which he had to fight to stop ( never) and they turn their back on me, even though both of them saw themselves things he did at the time.....now to find my daughter calls her mum will not contact me, nor allow me to see her children ( helped and assisted by her husband who never knew me but is always willing to slander me to anyone he meets).......they are adults, so they have to make their own decisions with the information they have, it hurts me, however I can't change how and what they do and they have to live with it, I get on with my life, write a diary everyday, opened bank accounts for my grandchildren ( I trace family history so I can find the information I need) including my daughters legal change of name, taking out my name and replacing it with Mrs number 2..........one day.............What are some of the emotions you felt and how did/do you deal with your ex introducing your children to a new?
Ya know....I suppose I would go through all the normal emotions and feelings just as anyone else, but the fact of the matter is: IS that life is life And nuclear families are a part of life. I think it is about time we ALL just get used to it already and quit being in denial about it. I would keep my feelings to myself no matter HOW young or how many children are involved. I was brought up being ';in the dark'; about many things (I suppose we all were) that was just the way it was...it was the ';times';, and now we learn from the mistakes that were made or @least we are supposed to. I think it is a big mistake to keep children in the dark. Live and let live. They know more then we think. And all we adults do s0oo many times is just confuse them about important life issues. The fact of the matter is: nuclear families exist and thrive. admit it, face it, deal w/it...and move on. Children adapt and deal w/so much more then we do at times and they are so much better at it. We adults do not give enough credit to children. Teach them HOW to deal with things so that CAN deal with things, when they are on thier own.





Sorry I went off on you like that...I guess it is just a sore spot I need to deal with...lol
CRAZY emotions ! that was a hard pill for me to swallow at first ! but as the time went on it just grow on me,I didn't like it but there was nothing I could do about it ! All I could do was pay c/s and let by gones be by gones,I really didn't want to see and hear all the drama that came with it !
you just hav to get on wi th it ,tell ur x nothing to do with him ,and just sit kids down and tell them meet my new boyfriend ? :) :)

No comments:

Post a Comment